Hey man sorry I got all grabby
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize