my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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