The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
