i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
there is glitter all over my balls
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
