The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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