Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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