She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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