8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
