Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
