Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
