it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
