Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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