I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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