Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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