I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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