My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
