it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
