fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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