Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
