PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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