I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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