I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
smell my finger.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
