Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
