i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
