Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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