Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize