when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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