i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
