About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize