I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize