just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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