Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
