she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
