if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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