there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
