Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
