just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
