i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize