we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
