I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
