it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
