WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
