I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
