are you so shy because you have an std?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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