i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
