I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
