You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
