You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
