Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
