I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
PANTIES FOUND
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