He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize