How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
