It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
