i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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