you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
