Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
