one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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