I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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