I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
