so that wasnt chicken after all
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
