Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
