so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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