We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
