...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
