will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
