So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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