Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
