I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
